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There lived a certain man in Russia long ago We hired a certain man from Russia we all know
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow He was big and wrong, in his eyes a cray-zed glow
Most people looked at him with terror and with fear Most people saw his code with errors and they sneered
But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear But to managers he was such a lovely dear
He could preach the bible like a preacher He recited GPL like a preacher
Full of ecstasy and fire Full of R.M.S. and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher And he also was the kind of teacher
Women would desire Interns will admire
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Lover of the Russian queen Lover of the Perl and Scheme
There was a cat that really was gone He was a cat whose code was all wrong
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Russia's greatest love machine Russia's greatest cruft machine
It was a shame how he carried on It is a shame how he carried on
He ruled the Russian land and never mind the czar He ran the Java Lab but never heard of JAR
But the cassock he danced really wunderbar But the memes he mailed were really wunderbar
In all affairs of state he was the man to please In all comments of code he was a man of brevity
But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze But really great when we needed a guy to tease
For the queen he was no wheeler dealer Management believed he has no odour
Though she'd heard the things he'd done To them he shone just like the sun
She believed he was a holy healer H.R. thought they got a coder
Who would heal her son Who would get it done
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Lover of the Russian queen Lover of the Perl and Scheme
There was a cat that really was gone He was a cat whose code was all wrong
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Russia's greatest love machine Russian's greatest cruft machine
It was a shame how he carried on It is a shame how he carried on
But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger And when his LISPing and RUSTing and his munging
For power became known to more and more people For hours became known to more and more people
The demands to do something about this outrageous The demands to something about this incompetent
Man became louder and louder Ruski got louder and louder
This man's just got to go, declared his enemies This guy's just got to go, declared his frenemies
But the ladies begged, don't you try to do it, please But the clients begged, can't you try to keep him, jeez
No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms No doubt this Konstantin had lots of lovely dreams
Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms Though he was a dunce they just really liked his memes
Then one night some men of higher standing Then one night admins of highest standing
Set a trap, they're not to blame Set a trap, is what they did
Come to visit us they kept demanding Login remotely, they kept demanding
And he really came And he really did
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Lover of the Russian queen Lover of the Perl and Scheme
They put some poison into his wine They put some poison into his cache
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Russia's greatest love machine Russia's greatest cruft machine
He drank it all and said, I feel fine He ran it all and said, blyad BASH
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Lover of the Russian queen Lover of the Perl and Scheme
They didn't quit, they wanted his head They didn't quit, he'd raised their ire
Ra ra Rasputin Da da Konstantin
Russia's greatest love machine Russia's greatest cruft machine
And so they shot him 'til he was dead And so they sabotaged until he got fired
Oh, those Russians Oh, those Russians